I want to foster. But there’s something in the way.

I want to foster children. So much so that after five and a half years, it happened. I committed the ultimate faux pas of working in public affairs — I became part of the story.

I was in the Daily Record, my name was mentioned in Parliament and I just took a call from a radio journalist who asked for a comment on what I said in the paper yesterday.

The debate in Parliament, by the way, is something that gave me hope. MSPs of every party respectfully and thoughtfully contributing to a discussion, brought forward by the incomparable Kezia Dugdale. There was something about the vulnerability that Jeremy Balfour MSP offered up that I thought was especially compelling and I’m still thinking about that today. I am so hopeful that we can achieve a better world for Care Experienced people, beyond the issue of fostering, because of that cross Parliament commitment.

Wanting to foster is a good enough reason, I think, to break the rule of not being behind the scenes. I’ve heard about, for a very long time now, the difference that an adult who says “I’m going to stick with you forever” can make to someone who is Care Experienced. I’ve seen the most phenomenal behaviour modelled by one of the best women I know and her three exceptional children. They’ve shown me that fostering isn’t a job or a heroic feat. I think it’s a privilege and a duty.

The challenge I have had when it comes to fostering is that I don’t live somewhere with a spare room. I’m in a shared flat, a long way away from a mortgage or the financial ability to rent somewhere with extra rooms just so that I have them. I’m not going to be living somewhere with loads of extra space any time soon.

The question of the spare room, however, is the first thing that I’ve found asked by local authorities and agencies. They don’t ask about my four years as a Children’s Panel member, my five years working with Care Experienced people at Who Cares? Scotland or what I learned from achieving my Counselling Skills certificate. They ask about my spare room. “Let us know if your circumstances change”. They won’t.

Obviously children need somewhere to sleep. My suggestion here is not that two children are dropped off at my door and I work it out from there.

I grew up in a two-bedroom house with my Mum and two brothers. There wasn’t enough space for us or our stuff. I slept on a mattress in the living room. I got a bed when one of my brothers stayed over elsewhere or my mum was on nightshift. No one needs to tell me about the difference a child having their own room can make. Having been around posh people, I’m also very keen on that thing where houses have a living room AND a lounge (my understanding is that a lounge is a living room with a thicker carpet).

My suggestion is that we flip the process. Assess my character, then work with me on creating the material circumstances that will work best for children.

I think that would have a larger cultural impact too. I’ve spent lots of time with Care Experienced people who have outlined how a focus on resource first puts their needs second. This “where are the beds?” approach has led to brothers and sisters being separated from each other, young people being moved really far away and to children living with carers who are not the right people.

My vision is for something more understanding of Scotland’s population, more fluid and more likely to result in young people in care feeling loved. I’d want to offer young people a home and a unit to call their own, a place to navigate everything else that is happening in their life from, forever. If there’s a chance being part of the story makes that happen, I’m glad I broke the rule.